There's only one thing that could be better than coming home to Big Brother on tv and pork chops roasting on the BBQ, and that, internet, is Big Brother All Stars on tv and pork chops roasting on the BBQ.
You can give me grief about this all you want, but I've been watching since the first episode, and this is not something that's going anywhere. Take away Survivor, ditch Fear Factor, cancel Elimidate (no wait... don't), drive every other reality series into the ground, but leave BB out of this.
I've been trying to figure out what makes this show so much better than all the others, what's that cherry on top of the reality icing. There's less money up for grabs, they're not camping with rhinos, it's no more or less shameless than the rest (aside from that one season where they put these two siblings who didn't know they were related in the same house and didn't tell them for the first three weeks, giving them ample time to hook up), so what could it be?
I watch Big Brother for the same reasons I like to laze around in my pyjamas and watch Newlyweds on Sunday afternoons: I enjoy people, especially celebrities, who do and say things for my amusement. And the casting at BB is amazing!
Sure, they've had a few slips in judgement, like that one guy who went crazy and threw the chair, or the ex-con, or the devil masquerading as a blonde girl (*coughAllisoncough*), but they have some expert people on here! My faith in their choice of ladies was dwindling until they picked up Janelle and Ivette last season, and now, for my complete enjoyment, they have the most memorable people back under one roof!
There is one houseguest in particular whose return makes the blood rush to more than my cheeks. He is a mastermind; he is devious and sly and charming and somewhat good-looking and evil and every thing a BB contestant should be. He, in his season, told the producers he was the puppeteer and his housemates were his little marionettes. These strong words when his alliance was under attack and was one by one being evicted from the house, his girl-toy included. But he survived, he outplayed them all, and he won!
Oh, come on, internet. Level with me. You've gotta understand I've been harbouring a crush on this guy since '01. Nobody in reality tv history comes close to topping him, not even the naked man from Survivor, and I have faith he'll take it again this time around. In the meantime, I'm going to fully enjoy the funny things people do and say, the strategy, the twists, the heartbreak. Jessica Simpson, eat your heart out.